Brothers: don't you just love 'em
by OneXSkyXOneXDestiny
Summary: A collection of one shots that some how involve the British Isles (England, Scotland, Wales, N. Ireland) that will be randomly updated. I don't own Hetalia.
1. My First World Meeting

**Hi guys. I tried to do the different accents but I think I failed, I just hope that I don't offend anyone. Please review! I don't own anything but Scotland, Ireland and Wales.**

Brothers: don't you just love 'em

**My first World Meeting**

England pulled on his jacket, finished doing up his tie and checked himself in the long mirror hanging on his wardrobe door. Brilliant. He was getting ready for the world meeting that was scheduled for today in New York and didn't want to look like he had spent a night on the streets. Despite what some people thought -namely his brothers- England took pride in his appearance. After all who would want to form an alliance for trade or other important things with someone who looked like they spent their life in the woods?

He had a reputation to uphold. It may not be the same as his pirate or punk reputations but it was a reputation none the less.

Green eyes flicked to the clock on the bedside cabinet. 9:03. Excellent. He had a chance to relax for a short amount of time before he had to leave.

"Whatcha up to?"

Well bang went that idea. England spun around to find Scotland lounging against the wooden door frame, arms folded, feet crossed at the ankles.

"I'm getting dressed" England said carefully. Scotland couldn't know about the meeting, what if he wanted to come?

"We 'ave nothin' intrestin' goin' on taday" the Scotsman said, "Why don't ya put some more comfortable clothes on?"

"Well I'm going somewhere and I wanted to look presentable."

"A meeting?" England said nothing and that was all it took for Scotland to connect the dots, "A world meeting?"

The blonde sighed "Yes."

"Can I come?"

"Of course not. I represent the UK in these types of things, remember? There's no need for you to worry yourself with these matters."

"I'm nae worryin' meself! I just want ter come with ye, I've never been tae one of these world meetin' thing's before."

"I can assure you that you're not missing much" England replied curtly, picking up his briefcase, "They're quite boring" he pushed past Scotland into the corridor and started walking away, "Just a bunch of countries arguing about politics and things, nothing actually gets accomplished."

Scotland hurried along behind his younger brother "I still want ter 'ave a look, I willnae go botherin' ye."

"You're staying here."

"Who's staying where now?" Wales asked as he emerged from his bedroom, still dressed in white fluffy pyjamas with sheep on, in time to follow his brothers into the living room.

"Scotland is staying in this hotel room" England answered before turning back to face his oldest brother, "You're lucky I let you come to America with me. Don't push your luck."

"Push what?" Northern Ireland appeared from the kitchen holding a glass of water in his hand.

"We're nae talkin' about you." Scotland snapped, he was still shadowing England's every move, "He willnae let us come ter the wold meetin' with 'im!"

England sighed. Now they'll all want to come.

"A world meeting? Can I come? Can I bring my leprechaun?"

"If Ireland gets to come then so do I!"

"We willnae trouble ye."

"Please, England" Wales pleaded, "We won't make fun of you when you dress in your punk clothes ever again."

"If you don't let us come with you we'll make you wear your punk clothes to the meeting!" Ireland added.

England shrugged "It's not like I haven't worn them to a meeting before." With that he turned on his heel and marched out of the living room door.

"Please?" Scotland shouted after him.

"No. None of you are coming! You'll probably get bored and you know what happens when you three get bored, and you'll probably rope me into your antics and then I lose all the respect that the other countries have for me."

Wales deflated a little. He disappeared into his room again with slumped shoulders. Scotland, however, didn't give up but instead changed his tactics "I willnae get bored! I need the experience for when I leave the house" he stated as he and followed their brother.

"You and I both know you'll never actually do that. You'd have to do your own chores and cook for yourself, do all of your own work, bills and taxes."

"I could do that if I wanted!" Scotland defended, he folded his arms and stopped in the middle of the corridor, "I'll prove it ter ye."

"Come on, England!" Ireland said dragging a grumpy Scotsman along with him as he walked, "Let us come! We won't get up to mischief!"

"I want to believe that" England opened the hotel room door and set off towards the lifts.

"I'm ready!" Wales screamed as he bounced out of his bedroom and raced after his brothers, grabbing the room key off a table as he ran, now dressed in a musty smelling suit. He caught up just in time to jump through the lift doors as they were closing. He landed head first inside the lift successfully managing to knock over Ireland.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" England asked as Wales and Ireland sat up rubbing their heads.

"Coming with you."

"No! You're not!" The door pinged and England walked briskly into the lobby. His three brothers snapping at his heels like children.

"Why not?"

"Give us a chance! Please?"

"We're countries too! I donae know what the fuss is about."

"NO!" England's voice shot down his brothers' pleads and bounced around the lobby walls, "You are not coming and that's final!"

A beep came from the road outside.

The car had arrived.

Scotland, Ireland and Wales looked at each other before sprinting towards the car despite England's protests as they knocked him sideways. They shot through the revolving door and piled into the back of the waiting taxi as if their lives depended on it. The driver -with a bemused look on his face- closed the door behind them.

England stomped through the revolving door with a scowl on his face. He thought about shouting at them but knew that it would be pointless. With a sigh England sat in the passenger seat. He ignored the chorus of "WE'RE GOING TO THE MEETING, WE'RE GOING TO THE MEETING!" that had erupted from his brothers and silently prayed that they wouldn't start WWIII. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if he gave them a chance. Deep down he was happy that they were coming, it would be entertainment for him.

What England didn't know was that the world was about to see how childish he could be when around his brothers.

The taxi pulled up outside of the meeting place, Scotland, Ireland and Wales jumped out of the car and ran towards the large building. The driver thanked England as he handed over some money and with a sigh followed his brothers inside muttering under his breath.

England ran to catch up with the three countries, he grabbed Scotland's wrist and pulled him back a few paces "I have a few rules for you."

Wales and Ireland nodded showing their enthusiasm.

"And they are?" Scotland asked.

England let go of his brother's wrist and held up one finger "Number one: Stay where I can see you." Then he held up another," Number two: Don't talk during the meeting or Germany will get annoyed." And then a third, "And number three: Don't use magic!"

"Yes, sir!" Ireland saluted, "Can we go in now?"

Glaring at the path England nodded "Come on then" he sighed, "Let's get this over with."

Jumping for joy the three countries ran into the building and walked into the conference room trying to look important. The other countries looked up from their chairs when they heard the sound of the door opening looked surprised to see them. They looked even more surprised when England joined them "I told you to stay where I can see you!"

"And we did!" Wales smiled.

Battling the urge to bang his head against a wall England sighed once again. France looked at the group of brothers with a smirk on his face "'Aving fun Angleterre?" he asked.

"Bugger off, Frog" England replied, "Can't you see I'm busy?"

France opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a hyper American. "Sup, Iggy?" America shouted flying across the room so he could pull the smaller nation into a hug.

"The sky" England answered drily deciding to ignore the nickname in favour for a bigger problem. What to do with his brothers.

Wales was looking around with childlike wonder "Wow! So this is a world meeting."

"We're finally here!" Ireland shouted, dancing around in a circle.

America looked at the brothers with confusion "Who are they?"

"They, Amérique" France began, "Are the personifications of the United Kingdom. Also known as England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland."

Scotland frowned at the American "Ye never heard of the Uk before?"

America nodded "I have! But I've never heard of you three before."

"Why?" Ireland asked, "England must have told you about us."

"Well the other countries don't know that I have brothers..." England trailed off as he got glares from said brothers, "What? It's not my fault! They never asked!"

Successfully gaining the entire room's attention -whether they where aware of it or not- Scotland and Ireland shouted at the top of their lungs "But you should want to talk about us!" Ireland protested, "They shouldn't need to ask!"

"Why didn't you tell them about us, England?" Wales asked, trying to pull a cute face.

"Did ye not want to tell them?"

"Um..well..."

America stood by England's side and watched the scene with amusement -along with the rest of the room- so Iggy had brothers? That was news to him.

England could sense that his brothers were about to jump on him so started slowly backing away. He turned and ran just as Ireland lunged for him. The blonde pushed passed America and jumped over a chair before jumping up on the table and sliding over it knocking important documents in the process "You'll never get me alive!" he shouted.

"Get your arse back here wee brother so I can kick it back to the British Isles!"

Now the entire world was watching intently.

"I'd like to see you try!" England shouted back at the redhead, laughing.

"England, I'll set my sheep on you" Wales shouted across the room.

"I'll delete all the Doctor Who episodes you've recorded!" Ireland added.

That made England stop laughing mechanically "You wouldn't dare" he growled.

"Try me."

In a flash England was back over the table and standing in front of Ireland "I will personally make sure that your leprechaun never sees the light of day again" He growled.

"Guys! Can we just get on with the meeting now?" America asked, even if it was amusing to him the American had an awesome presentation to show everyone.

England seemed to remember where he was and froze in place. With a blush crawling up his face the blonde nation went over to his seat, dragging Ireland and Scotland along behind him. Wales scurried behind them and sat down in the chair England pointed to him "Stay."

The first half of the meeting went by without any problems. Scotland was happy to sit there listening to what Germany had to say as was Wales. Ireland too had been listening intently until his eyes landed on his sister, the Republic of Ireland, immediately he began to feel angry and the feeling of betrayal raised itself to be shown.

When Italy called for a break so he could eat his pasta Ireland was quite happy to rush out of the room and away from his twin.

During the break England and Scotland ended up wrestling on the floor over some silly thing while Wales cheered them both on. Ireland stood watching silently and jumped as England shouted his name "IRELAND! He threatened to break my Harry Potter DVD's!"

"Well ye were makin' fun of me kilt."

"It's a skirt!"

"It's a kilt!"

"It's a skirt!"

Their little scuffle was broken up by America "Iggy, dude, come on let's go get some lunch I'm starving bro!" And so said nation was dragged off by America towards the room that had food set out for them all.

Scotland looked up from the floor at his brothers "Food!"

Once the meeting had started again Scotland found himself to be bored. Very bored. One look at Wales and Ireland told him that they too were uninterested in what was going on.

Scotland started to tap his leg while Wales started to count sheep. Ireland decided that he was going to poke England's arm.

"Stop it" he hissed, trying to swat Ireland away.

Ireland ignored him "I'm bored!" he whispered back, not once did he stop poking.

"We've got 10 minutes left" England replied quietly, "Can't you just daydream or something?"

"I don't daydream."

The poking continued.

England lost his concentration on the presentation and could only focus on the tapping on his arm. His frustration rising England slapped Ireland's hand away. But he just kept poking him in a different place. When his frustration reached boiling point England forgot where he was, once again, and lunged for his brother knocking over both their chairs and slamming Ireland on the floor.

Germany sighed and walked over to the fighting brothers, he pulled them apart and looked sternly at them -a look only used when scolding Prussia- his eyes narrowed.

"He started it!" England and Ireland pointed to each other.

Sighing Germany let them go "The meeting has ended, let's go home."

When England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland arrived at their hotel room England turned to them "And that is why you are never coming to a meeting with me again."


	2. It's British Law

**This one is more about England and America rather than England and his brothers but I hope you still like it. (America kind of counts as a brother so I'm not far off.) Thanks for all the favourites and follows. Reviews are appreciated too. **

It's British law!

_Summary: America is slowly losing his sanity to boredom so decides to give Iggy a call. But he wasn't expecting that by doing so he was breaking laws._

It was raining outside. Not just raining but pouring it down, going outside meant drowning and/or getting extremely soaking wet. Because of the weather, and it's ability to be a jerk, people had no choice but to stay inside where the only water was that from taps. This, of course, left some people with nothing to do and left them feeling bored.

America, especially, was no exception.

America was bored. Very bored. He had tried playing video games but kept losing, dying and just generally failing. He blamed the sound of the rain of course, heroes found rain distracting. Soon Tony came and took over America's game so that left him bored again.

Next he tried reading. He picked up a game manual that was on his bedroom floor and flicked through it but it didn't ease his boredom. He tried a Harry Potter book after that. England had given him the first book when it had been released, America had said that he hated it but secretly...he was hooked. The nation slammed the book shut when he got to Dobby's death. No way was he reading that. The weather was depressing enough already without him reading about that!

Chucking the book under his bed America got up from said bed before walking down to his kitchen. Blue eyes scanned the contents of the fridge "All out of Pepsi cans..." he sighed.

Wasn't today just perfect?

Going back to his bedroom America let his mind wonder. He bumped into Tony on his way up stairs but didn't notice, the grey alien cursed the American under his breath as he walked away. America flopped on to his bed and stared at the ceiling.

What could he do to entertain himself?

...

England, meanwhile, was making some tea. Kettle boiling, check. Teacup ready and waiting, check. Teabag inside teacup, check. He glared at the kettle willing it to boil the water faster. He had to hurry. It was near the time for his TV show and if the Brit didn't hurry he'd miss it, missing it was not an option.

It was one of two shows that all of the Kirkland family agreed to watch. And it was also one of two shows that the Kirkland family watched together.

"Hurry up, England!" Wales shouted from the living room, "It's starting and we're not waiting for you."

"I'll be right there."

The sound of boiling water stopped, alerting England that he could now pour the water in to his teacup. As soon as his tea was done England picked up the cup and hurried into the living room...to find that all the seats had been taken by his brothers "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Sittin' down, lad" Scotland replied eyes glued to the TV screen opposite him, "Why ye ask?"

"There's nowhere for me to sit."

"And this is our problem how?"

"Sit on the floor" Northern Ireland suggested spreading out in his armchair just to prove a point.

Sighing the green eyed nation sat of the floor without much more fuss, he'd die before he missed his show. Figuratively speaking, nations couldn't die after all. He sat back against the coffee table and smiled to himself as the opening started to play.

...

America stared at his phone screen. He could feel himself going crazy so had decided to call someone, the question was: who?

There was no way on earth that he'd call Russia and he didn't feel up to dealing with France, Spain or Prussia. He'd talk to Italy but knew that Germany would be the one to answer and give him a quiz on why he was calling. And he wasn't in the mood to be called a 'Burger bastard' by Romano.

What about Japan?

America's fingers scrolled down to Japan's number before he remembered. Japan was at a con, therefore wouldn't pick up his phone even if someone's life depended on it. He stared at the contacts list again. Who was almost never busy? Who never had anything, in his opinion, interesting to do? And the it hit him. Literally. Tony had thrown a picture frame at him in revenge for bumping into him earlier. America picked the frame up and looked at the picture inside of him, England and Canada.

England.

England only cooked 'food', read books or did some gardening. All uninteresting things, in America's opinion, he picked up his phone and dialled England's number. Hopefully the Brit would put up a good conversation that could kill half an hour at least. The dial tone rang in his ear and America got into a comfortable position.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally England picked up but America did not get the response he was looking for.

"DOCTOR WHO IS ON YOU TWAT!"

"DOCTOR WHO IS ON? I'LL CALL YOU BACK!"

He hung up.

After all England had told him many times before: it's unspoken British law, you never ever, under any circumstance, ring a British person during Doctor Who. Ever!

...

"Who was that?" Wales asked without taking his eyes away from the TV screen.

"America" England answer taking his place on the floor again.

"Shall we kill him for calling at such an important time?" Northern Ireland asked.

"Yes" Scotland replied.

Not one person's eyes left the TV screen as they all stood up ready to leave.

Silence.

"...After Doctor who."

And with that they all sat down.


	3. The Haunted Invitation

**I dislike this one. A lot. But I really wanted to write something for Halloween. I promise that the next one short will be much, much better! Please, please, please review!**

**Oh and one last thing...**

**HAPPY HALLOWEEN!**

The Haunted Invitation

_Summary: ' __"How did you know about the party anyway?" England asked. __"I found the invite, lad." '_

England glared at the small piece of paper in front of him like it had personally offended him. It might as well have. The piece of paper was an invite to America and Japan's Halloween party. At least that was what England believed it was after an hour of squinting at the unreadable chicken scratch that was America's handwriting.

"Bollocks" he muttered tossing the invite on the table as far away from him as possible. Did America really expect him to attend another one of his parties? Okay, yes, it was Japan's party too but still!

England really didn't want to go. He didn't feel the need to go and he couldn't be bothered to go. After the incident at the world meeting the blonde nation didn't want to show his face to the other nations until...maybe the next millennium? Possibly the one after that. But America had made sure that the sentence_ 'Come or else'_ was very much readable.

But that could just be America's way of making the invite 'scary'...on second thoughts no. He did the same with his Christmas parties and New Years parties.

Sighing England stood up from the kitchen table, picked up the offending invitation and walked up to his room. He'd sleep on it and then decide if he was going or not. What was the worst thing that America could do with Japan there anyway? And England wasn't a party person so that was a good excuse not to go, besides he didn't have a costume and Halloween was around the corner. It was probably too late to get a decent one.

England stretched, yawning loudly. He was too tired to notice that the invite fell on the floor; right where others could see it.

...

Scotland came down the stairs and padded into the kitchen for a midnight drink. He always did it and in the morning (depending on his hangover) enjoyed watching looking around for his Guinness, Wales wondering where his Penderyn Whisky went and England frantically searching for his precious Rum. Of course Scotland drank his own alcohol but once he was drunk it was hard to tell what was Drambuie and what wasn't.

He sat at the kitchen table with one leg resting in his lap. He tapped his fingers on the shiny wood of the table, wondering about what he was going to drink first when he noticed a strange feeling on his foot. Looking down he saw a piece of paper stuck to him. Scotland pulled it off and looked at it in his hands and read it over...

Invitation, huh?

Well, he would make sure that England went to that party; and with the best costume he could ever wear. But so he would be able to remember his schemes Scotland would have to pass on the drinking. Sighing he went back to bed. As much as he liked drinking...he liked annoying his little brother more.

Upon his adventure to his bedroom Scotland bumped into Wales "Watch where ye going, lad" he grumbled.

"I think it was you who walked into me!" Wales complained holding a stuffed toy lamb to his chest.

Ireland came out of his bedroom to see what the noise was about "Will you two shut it! Some of us _normal_ people are trying to sleep!"

"What do you mean normal!?" Wales challenged, "I'm much more normal then you and Scotland put together!"

Scotland was about to snap at his brothers when he remembered. They could help him with his evil plan. "Quiet! I have somethin' to tell ye" he told them, "and I think ye'll like it very much."

Sharing looks of confusion Wales and Ireland looked at the oldest of them "What would that be?"

Smiling evilly Scotland explained his plan "Well I was gettin' a drink of water when I saw somethin' on the kitchen table..." Of course he was going to tell them he was going to get drunk!

A week passed by and England had managed to dodge any questions about him going to the party. But he was still haunted by the invite as it seemed to follow him. In the fridge when he went to get the milk for his tea. Leaning against his shower gel in the bathroom. On his chair in his office.

He was being stalked by a bloody invitation!

What England didn't know was that his brothers were moving the 'bloody invitation' around the house. Sniggering to themselves every time they heard England scream or shout blasphemies every time he discovered it.

Ireland found great joy in hiding the party invitation in England's bed underneath the covers. Whereas Wales found it funny to photocopy it and hide it inside bottles of rum. And Scotland?...Well let's just say: invitation, glue, meet England's face. England's face, meet glue and invitation.

Before they knew it Halloween had arrived and England still hadn't told America or Japan his answer. He felt quite proud of himself. It was the afternoon and England was drowsy, ready to drop off into the land of sleep at any second. No harm would come to him if he slept the afternoon away, would it? He slipped his book mark into his book and fell asleep on the sofa.

He didn't see the three figures creeping up behind him.

When England woke up he noticed that something soft and slightly fluffy was tickling his nose. He also noticed that he was no longer in his sweater vest and dress trousers but a long red coat embroidered with gold, white shirt and black trousers. All of which smelled old, as if it had been in storage for years. The tickling sensation on his nose was, in fact, a feather sewn into a large black hat that was hanging off his head.

Green eyes landed on three identical smirks and he sat up immediately, worried for his safety.

"Oh don't mind us" Ireland smiled.

"What are you doing? What am I wearing? Where am I?" England asked glaring at his brothers.

"You're in your pirate outfit" Wales answered him.

"And we're in Scotland's car outside Japan's house" Ireland added smiling wider.

"WHAT?!" England screamed reaching for the handle on the car door so he could escape.

"Ye are going to that party" Scotland told him sternly, "Do ye want everyone to think you're borin'."

"They already think I'm boring" England argued, "I see no reason to change their minds."

Scotland snorted.

"How did you know about the party anyway?" England asked.

"I found the invite, lad."

England scowled at his situation, he looked over at Wales, who normally took his side in these matters, and gave him a pleading look. That was, until he saw the brown fax fur ears attached to his browny-blonde hair. His eyes travelled lower. Brown top, brown trousers, sharp teeth, brown, fluffy, fax fur tail "What" England started, "Are you wearing?"

"My costume!" Wales beamed, "I'm a werewolf."

True enough Wales was dressed as a werewolf. England turned to look at Ireland. Fangs, fake blood, black cape, Victorian style clothing. Oh brilliant his brother was a vampire.

Next was Scotland: wrapped in a blue and white checked table-cloth and covered in blue war paint that had been in their storage room since the beginning of time.

"What the bloody hell are you all wearing?!"

"We're coming to the party with you!" Ireland cheered, "We really enjoyed ourselves last time we met the other countries so we wanted to meet them again!"

"Now, lad, let's go!" Scotland dragged England out of the car, up some steps and towards the door of Japan's house. Towards his fate.

A cowboy with a Captain America shield opened the door. A blonde haired man ran behind him dressed in nothing but a single red rose covering his vital regions.

And that was when England realized that everyday was a scary day for him. What with the people he had to put up with it was amazing that he hadn't started mass producing poisonous cupcakes yet.


	4. My Kingdom For Tea

My Kingdom for Tea

_Summary: England and his brothers are snowed in but that's okay they had enough of all the vital things to keep them going, didn't they?_

When you are related to someone like England you learn things about their personality pretty easily. For example Scotland, N. Ireland and Wales knew to never take away Doctor Who, Sherlock and Harry Potter. They knew better than to insult William Shakespeare, Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Victoria or the Duke of Wellington. But the most important thing that they knew never to do was to deprive England of tea.

So when the weatherman on the news predicted a heavy shower of snow that could possibly mean that some people wouldn't be able to open their own doors, Scotland was sent out into the blizzard to the nearest Tesco or M&S to stock up on food but most importantly: tea. As long as Scotland brought that drink home all would be well.

Snow was quite rare in the United Kingdom. It seemed like Scotland was, normally, the part of the islands to get the white, frozen weather whereas southern nations like Wales and England only got a few inches around January/February time which would most likely be gone the same day it fell. It hardly ever snowed at Christmas for them, but because snow was so rare people still got extremely excited when roads were closed, school cancelled and they could spend the day lobbing snowballs at each other. Needless to say, Scotland handled snow better than the others.

Anyway, that morning Northern Ireland was up first, as per usual, and had set about making eggy bread (_not_ French toast) for breakfast. Scotland had done well in his emergency shopping considering that last time he had been sent out to tackle the shopping he had come back with what Wales identified as 'only suitable for living creatures with no taste buds'. Ireland did see a few cans of Irn-Bru in the fridge though, but that could be overlooked as Scotland had brought him some chocolate coins.

Wales was the next one awake. He ran into the kitchen, still dressed in fluffy pyjamas and sheep slippers, and almost slipped in his excitement "Did you see?" he asked as he pointed towards the window and the white fluff behind it, "Snow! We're snowed in! We are actually snowed in for the first time ever!"

That was when Scotland wondered in. He gave a grunt at his younger brother's excitement and continued his journey to the kitchen table in a zombie like fashion.

Wales was correct in what he said; the outside of the house was surrounded by a large amount of snow that covered the windows, trying to push open the front door would require the same amount of skill level of trying to stop England from making scones. The fact that they were snowed in didn't bother any of them as they had plenty to keep them going.

Scotland watched Wales bounce around the kitchen from his half asleep state at the kitchen table. The morning was going quite well; nothing other than the snow was out of the ordinary.

It wasn't until England woke up and came downstairs that a problem arose.

England flopped into one of the dinning room chairs "Someone put the kettle on. I really need a cup of tea."

Ireland turned quickly and went to do as England asked. It was unwise to withhold tea from England; Scotland had done it once and after a broken TV, ripped clothes and 4 other unexplainable occurrences (Like a Braveheart DVD that was snapped even though Scotland had locked it in a safe and England had no way of getting to it) Ireland, Wales and Scotland had vowed that they would never repeat that mistake.

Whistling as he went, Ireland grabbed a teacup from the top shelf in the cupboard and opened the jar labelled 'tea' that was filled with, believe it or not, teabags. The whistling stopped abruptly as horrible sight met Northern Ireland's eyes.

The jar was empty.

Trying not to panic Ireland rounded on his eldest brother "Scotland!" Said person raised his head from his arms with a far off look, "Did you buy teabags yesterday?"

Scotland gazed at him sleepily, his mind working sluggishly as it tried to process what he had just been asked. Once the download was 100% complete his eyes snapped open and he shot right up with a look of horror slapped across his face.

The icy chills that had been crawling up Ireland's spine intensified as he felt his stomach drop. Wales toppled off of his seat on the windowsill where he had been gazing at the snow like a small child. Scotland's mouth opened to a rapid succession of silent apologies.

"Is there none left?" England asked unconcerned as he waved a hand in dismissal, "Oh don't worry about it then."

Three pairs of green eyes started at him in surprise. Ireland wasn't relived in the slightest at England's uncaring tone. As far as he was concerned this was the calm before the storm. Just the calm right before your house gets blown down or your brother goes ballistic. Still...now was not the time to panic.

Maybe the best course of action would be to distract him somehow, yes, that was the best thing to do. "I think the Goblet of Fire is on this morning, we should watch that! In fact I think we should watch all of the Harry Potter movies!" Ireland suggested.

"...Okay" England agreed looking at Ireland strangely. He put his plate of now finished eggy bread into the dishwasher as Ireland, Wales and Scotland practically tripped over themselves in their hurry to get to the living room to turn on the TV.

England laughed at them and their panic "Honestly you three, if I survived the Blitz and all those Civil wars then I'm sure that I can survive a day without tea."

But by the time Harry's name was picked out of the Goblet England was staring to show alarming symptoms.

"Are you sure that you'll be fine?" Wales asked, watching his brother with a concerned expression painted across his features.

"Of course I'll be fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? I've never been finer" England had spoken extremely fast, he reached for the TV remote with violently shaking hands. With several attempts he tried to get his finger to touch the volume button.

He tried bashing the remote against the wall in an attempt to 'fix' it. Gently, Scotland reached over and took the remote off of him so he didn't break it and set the electronic device on the coffee table. But England didn't want it there.

The three brothers jumped as a loud shout of "No!" cut through the house. England snatched the remote off of the coffee table and carefully replaced it next to him on the arm chair, going as far as to get a ruler to make sure it was perfectly straight, "There. Right there. Excellent. That's where it goes, see? See? Do you?!" Scotland nodded his head quickly as he shrank back slightly.

"Good" England went back to watching the movie with wide, unblinking eyes as if nothing had happened. His brother's were staring at him with alarm but England didn't notice.

Ireland couldn't handle a whole day with England like this "Scotland! Wales! I have...er something to show you in...um...in the kitchen! Yes...in the kitchen."

He grabbed the two and pulled them towards the room he had just spoken of. He didn't need to use an excuse. England was gazing at the TV as if it was an extremely important meeting. Once safely away from England, the three let out a breath. But then the panic came back.

"What if he turns crazy and tries to kill us?! What if-"

"Wales be quiet" Northern Ireland scolded, he sighed as he closed his eyes, "Scotland, you're the best when it comes to dealing with snow. We are stuck in the house with a potential male version of Belarus, or something worse than her, if we don't get him tea. We need to get that drink or face death. Remember what happened last time?" The three brothers shivered at the memories.

"There must be an open window" Wales suggested, "If we could find one that isn't frozen Scotland could get out from there."

"I think that the Kitchen window is open" Ireland replied, "I always leave it open slightly."

Scotland ran down the hall pulling on a coat and gloves as he ran. Operation: Force open the kitchen window and begin the desperate search for tea, had begun.

Wales and Ireland looked at each other with looks given to those going towards their deaths, they took deep breaths before walking back into the living room. Ireland closed the door as softly as he could in the hope that England wouldn't notice them.

"What the bloody hell was that about?" England's head snapped up like a rag doll's and he turned to face them with a look that made Wales and Ireland edge closer to each other.

"W-w-what was what a-a-bout?"

"You! Slamming the door! Stop making noise! Or they'll hear you..." The TV was off and England had pulled his legs up and tucked them under his chin, he was rocking backwards and forwards slowly. He looked at his brothers with haunted eyes "Shut up! You're always so loud! All the bloody time! Loud! Loud! Loud! Shut up! They'll hear you!"

"Who'll hear us-"

"SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!" England slapped a hand over his mouth once he realised how loud he had been. "Be quiet!" he whispered. But he wasn't talking to Wales, Ireland or even himself. He was talking to the air.

"Zip it! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shutupshutupshutupshutup!" The words formed together and created a strange mantra that spilled from England's mouth. The colour drained from his face and he jumped up, pulling the curtains closed with trembling hands. "Ireland! Wales! Lock the doors and windows, they are coming!"

"Who's come-" Wales tried to ask again but was cut off.

"THEM!" England yelled.

"But we're snowed in and _who is 'them_'?"

"Them" England spoke as if that one word explained everything. Happy that they were locked in, a thought of which terrified the nations by the door, England calmly sat back down. He was still rocking but it wasn't as violent.

"England.." Wales started to walk towards him but Ireland grabbed the top of his arm, and shook his head.

"I don't think that it's wise to approach him" Ireland whispered, "It'll all be fine once Scotland comes back with tea-"

"Tea?" England's head snapped up, hope shining in his wild eyes, "You have tea? Tell me! DO YOU HAVE TEA?!" England had grabbed Wales's uniform collar and pulled him down so their faces were mere millimetres away from each other.

"No! I don't!" Wales cried as he panicked to untangle England's boney and shaking fingers from his clothing.

"No...tea?" England whimpered, his lower lip trembled slightly making Wales and Ireland believe he was about to cry but he suddenly glared at them both, "There never is any tea, is there? No! Bloody American's throw it into harbours like the ungrateful wankers that they are! Or it gets turned into green tea, iced tea, peppermint tea, bubble tea! What's wrong with good, old-fashioned English tea?"

Ireland and Wales said nothing. They just stood there by the door, silently, praying to whatever higher power there might be that they wouldn't be killed as they tightly gripped each other in a some what painful hug.

Hopefully it wouldn't be as bad as last time. Ireland and Wales knew what to look out for symptoms wise and as long as England didn't start quoting his most famous books and TV shows everything will be okay.

"At least he hasn't started quoting Harry Potter yet!" Wales whispered to Ireland with a hopeful tone in his voice.

"Don't jinks it!" Northern Ireland hissed with an underline of fear hidden in his expression.

Unspeakable things would happen if a certain someone started quoting before a different certain someone returned with a certain drink.

"Turn to page 394!"

Too late.

With his wand in hand and a coat pulled over his shoulders like a cloak England was now running around the living room shouting spells and incantations normally seen in the Harry Potter series.

"We're all doomed" Wales cried trying to make himself as small as possible while watching his brother run around the room with a wand.

"Tea! Tea! My kingdom for tea!"

"Okay Wales, just stay as still and as quiet as possible and hope that he doesn't see us."

But Wales couldn't just sit there and do nothing. He wanted to help. But he also wanted to hide. But then he wanted to help! It was an internal struggle.

The battle was soon over and the side of Wales that wanted to help...won.

He detached himself from Ireland and slowly, ever so slowly, creeped forward with his hands out in front of him as if to steady the semi-crazy nation "England, calm yourself down! Just breathe. Scotland will be back soon with your tea."

"Tea?" England's head snapped around again, "I had tea once... Wait... You have tea?"

Wales and his resolve to help England flew out of the living room door, grabbing Ireland as he went, slamming the door behind them.

But that did little to stop the tea-deprived England from chasing them for his drink. His footsteps reached their ears sounding like V2 rocket bombs. _Bang...Bang...BANG_. They raced up the stairs, breath coming in short gasps, hearts in their throats. Ireland pushed on the first door they came too. Locked. They ran to the next one, also locked. Cursing whoever had the bright idea to lock all the rooms in their house, Ireland hot footed it towards his bedroom. He knew for a fact that it was unlocked.

Or so he thought.

It seemed that England's earlier fun with his wand had locked all the doors in the house. With his bedroom door locked stopping him and Wales from finding sweet, sweet safety Ireland ran. He just kept running. Soon England stopped following them and had his psychological breakdown outside Scotland's bedroom.

"Now what?" Wales asked panting, "The only door that isn't locked is the living room door and to get there we have to go passed Mr Psychopath!"

Ireland shook his head "Scotland won't be that much longer. If we can just hold out until then..."

Wales and Ireland stood at what they thought to be a safe distance away from England. They silently took steps back even further just encase but just as it looked like they were in the clear...a floorboard squeaked.

England looked up at the sound as Wales and Ireland froze.

_'Oh please let someone save us. Oh please let someone save us. I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!'_

"Hello?!" a voice called from downstairs, "I'm back with tha tea!"

England's ears honed in on the word 'tea'. Footsteps rattled around the house like thunder as England descended the stairs leaving Wales and Northern Ireland to wonder how he didn't trip. The two slowly made their way downstairs, gripping the banister for support as they went.

Once they were in the kitchen they found Scotland, who had climbed back in through the window, sitting on the kitchen table looking shocked as England nuzzled a bag of tea while laying on the floor.

Other than the kitchen door, that had splintered when England used his shoulder to bash through it to get to his tea, nothing had been broken.

Looking at the lump on the floor Ireland felt relief flood through him. The look of pure bliss on England's face told him that they were all safe. Wales threw himself at Scotland in a hug and Ireland had to stop himself from doing he exact same "You took your time."

"I'm sorry. But the corner shop was closed 'cause o' the weather so I had tae venture out tae Tescos but they were sold out of everythin' so I could only get that kind. It's nae his favourite kind but I don't think he's to picky at the moment."

Ireland nodded and went to pull the bag from England's ridiculously tight grip. A hiss ricocheted across the kitchen as England subconsciously defended his tea. The three brothers jumped back at the sound.

After an hour, Wales managed to steal a teabag from the packet without notifying it's 'guard' that there was an enemy that had to be mercilessly hunted and killed. As Scotland got out a teacup and poured water into the kettle Ireland let out a deep breath. Deep relief that comes from surviving near death experiences.

Wales pressed the plastic button and the sound of a boiling kettle filled the house.

It was like angels singing.

This is what happens when my mum didn't buy tea. Oh and horsewhisper3 you are my favourite person on earth right now!

**Explanation and things**

**1. The V-2 was a short-range missile that was developed during the Second World War in Germany, specifically targeted at London during the blitz. It is also known as the V2 Rocket.**

**2. "Tea! Tea! My kingdom for tea!" was originally "A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!" which is a quote from _Henry VII, _one of Shakespeare plays.**

**3. England has had a lot of Civil wars.**

**4. I don't know whether you know about the historical people mentioned at the beginning so I'll do a quick overview.**

**Shakespeare - Famous playwrite.**

**Queen Elizabeth I - Queen of England and Ireland from 17th November 1558 to 24th March 1603.**

**Queen Victoria - Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland from 20th June 1837 to 22nd January 1901.**

**Duke of Wellington - Defeated Napoleon (French Emperor) in the Battle of Waterloo.**


	5. Decorating is Fun!

**Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it. Also, this is your Xmas present from me (yes I've succumbed to the whole ****_'let's write a story for the current holiday' _****band wagon, I'm sorry[not]) so ****Merry Christmas**** and I'll see you whenever I have a new story for ya!**

**By the way this literally has no plot what so ever.**

Decorating is fun!

_Summary: Decorating for Christmas always a fun time for the UK..._

There weren't many days that could be called calm for the inhabitants of that big house at the end of the road. Many days were spent dressed neatly in suits and doing paper work or going to meetings, others were spent in formal attire and mingling at parties filled with important people.

Today wasn't one of those days.

Nope. Today was a day for comfortable clothing and for watching TV.

Still snowed in from the heavy snowfall weeks ago England, Scotland and Northern Ireland were taking the opportunity offered to them with both hands. With no way of getting the documents that were in their offices the three brothers were relaxing, something that they very rarely got to do.

The three brothers were all sat on the plush sofa in their living room watching an episode of Merlin on the TV. Each one was dressed practically identically: a T-shirt of some sort with jogging bottoms. The only difference in their clothing were the colours.

Everything was calm for once.

...

Well it was until Wales strolled into the room with a large grin on his face and set a cardboard box down dramatically. It wasn't normal for Wales to be moving boxes around let alone be dropping them dramatically on the floor but this wasn't enough for the relaxing nations on the sofa to look up. Wales sighed with a dejected look painted across his features.

He, then, loudly announced to his brothers that "This is the last box!"

Three heads turned to look at Wales as if he had gone crazy.

"What-" Ireland asked as he paused the program playing on the TV, "-on Earth are you going on about?"

"The boxes of Christmas decorations! I brought them all down from the loft so we can decorate the house!"

"And ya didn't think ta ask us first, why?" Scotland asked. He was enjoying his day free of hard work! And now one of his brothers wanted him to spend the day building fake trees and hanging glittery...glittery..._things_ on them. '_Wales can bugger off, I never agreed ta help so I won't! I won't do it and he can't make me!'_

"I asked you while you were sleeping!"

_'Damn you England! Damn you and your bloody Queen Victoria's tree tradition!'_

"And what did we say?" Ireland asked with a worried look. Who knows what he agreed to while he was asleep! He can't even keep track of the things he's agreed to while he's awake.

'_Wales will nae make me do this! I'm the oldest! No one can make me do anything!"_

"You all said yes!" the small nation announced happily as he bounced up and down.

_'...He's going to make me do it.'_

"Oh bloody Hell." Sighing England accepted his fate and turned the TV off. He got up and walked over to radio, turning it on. With _'I wish it was Christmas everyday'_ blasting through the speakers England went over to the box Wales had brought in and opened it.

Scotland could _smell _the glitter.

He was handed the Christmas tree lights by the blonde as Wales left the from to get their tree while Ireland helped England unpack the box that was sitting by the door in room. Scotland slumped down on the floor and plunged the multi-coloured lights in to check that they worked. He spread the lights out and switched them on.

Half of them weren't working.

The lights that had been on their 6 foot Christmas tree for over 14 years had finally broken. Wales had walked back into the room with another box that he set down next to Ireland, he looked over at his oldest brother to see what condition the lights were in.

"We need new lights."

"But we're still snowed in" Ireland stated, holding up the Angel tree topper in his left hand and sorting out the wings on the Angel with his right, he wasn't really that interested.

"Well, these lights are arsed up more than England's face" Scotland explained.

"I resent that!" England shouted from his position on the floor as Ireland laughed.

Scotland ignored him and continued on "They're fit for the bin and nothing else, lad."

Before he knew it England had disappeared off somewhere, Ireland had pulled him up from the floor and Wales had handed him his coat, shoes and some gloves. They pushed him into the kitchen and grabbed the items of clothing from him before forcing them on to his body. England reappeared just in time to thrust a piece of paper in to his hands and the shove him out of the window.

And thus Scotland was sent out through the window to find the nearest B&Q or Homebase with a list in his hand filled with strict instructions written in beautiful cursive that could only be England's hand writing. 'Find a box of 180 multi-coloured, multi-setting lights. Preferably not LEDs. And get a can of fake snow if you came across it.'

As if they didn't have enough of the real thing already.

As Scotland was braving the weather Ireland fished out some gold tinsel from a box and started to wrap it round a photo of Australia and New Zealand before doing the same too all of the frames that lined the wall above the sofa without knocking them off of the wall.

England and Wales sat on the floor building their tree. Following the colour coded branches made the job ten times easier, they worked quickly and occasionally looked to see what Ireland was doing. A loud crash interrupted them from their work.

They turned to look at Ireland who was staring at the shattered glass of a photo frame in horror.

"I'll clean it up! Don't worry, England!" He disappeared off into the kitchen to get a dust pan and brush.

He hadn't just knocked a picture of America and Canada off of the wall. Nope. Not at all.

_'Bloody hell! England is going to kill me!'_

He had the exact same thought process as the last time he and Wales were left alone in the house with England. But this time the house was stocked up with tea.

When he re-entered the room Ireland pulled the photo from the broken glass and hid it under the arm chair, he swept up the glass and chucked it away before continuing on like nothing happened.

"What did you break?" Wales asked innocently as he pushed the last branch into place on the tree.

"Oh nothing important" Ireland laughed nervously, "Just a old frame with a old picture in it. You could hardly see what it was because it was so old. One of the first photos I think, anyway I threw it away."

"Why?!" England asked.

"Well you couldn't see who the people were...and um...I thought that it would be pointless to keep it."

Ireland knew that he was digging himself deeper. He was lying through his teeth to one of the scariest people in the UK.

"Okay..." England seemed a bit upset but he stopped asking questions and that was enough for Ireland.

When Scotland got back with the new tree lights he padded into the living room and threw his plastic bag at the closest brother to him, which happened to be England, and plonked himself down on the sofa.

Wales started to wrap the lights around the tree.

"I thought I wrote 'no LEDs'" England said as he cocked his head to the side.

"That's all ye can buy."

"But they don't look like Christmas lights! They just look...wrong!" Wales complained but continued on anyway.

"It's all energy saving lights now and there were hardly any left. I was lucky ta get these ones."

England sighed "Oh well...did you get the fake snow?"

"What do ye think?"

"...Um, yes?"

"I didn't get ya fake snow, we've got enough of the real thing outside!"

England left the living room in a huff.

"He's heading towards the kitchen Scotland, I'd go and check on your alcohol."

"He should know better than ta mess with my stuff" Scotland huffed crossing his arms.

Once England had come back and they had finished the decorating England, Ireland and Wales slumped down onto the sofa with a sigh. Scotland had left to get a drink and to start their dinner.

With each nation on the edge of sleep there was a rare calm settling around the house they lived in. A calm seen once in a blue moon.

England, Ireland and Wales were about to drift off when Scotland's voice cut into the silence like a knife.

"ENGLAND! WHERE IS THE HAGGIS AND WHY ARE ALL MY BOOZE BOTTLES EMPTY?!"

Well, a calm seen when England doesn't tip Scotland's alcohol down the sink and throw his haggis away.

* * *

**Terrible story is terrible.**


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